Bill 1, Sands Casino 0

After hearing several of my friends rave about Bethlehem's new casino, I called an audible this Sunday Night and changed my plans of watching TV and headed out about 10:30pm to check it out.

What I really wanted to do was see the new Irish pub located on the premises. As to be expected, the price for a pint was steep. I think I paid $6.00 for a pint of Harp. In a casino, they can get away with that. This new Irish Pub won't be a watering hole for the locals.

St. James Gate (http://www.pasands.com/dine/stjames.aspx) was a little too dimly-lit for my tastes, but I understand they're going for atmosphere. Nobody visits bars that are lit up like Wal-Mart. It was very busy. It felt like most of the crowd was from out of town. Some folks were dressed to the nines, most were casual in jeans, and then there were a few backward-hat wearing fools with oversized Nike T-Shirts and gold chains. One of these tools was with a very nice-looking girl, who was dressed well -- almost kind of a preppy look. I wanted to give her Dr. Mark Moran's phone number to have her eyes checked. (If you're reading this dear, his number is 610-437-4988).

With about $100 remaining in my pocket after a few pints, I headed out to the casino floor. I actually wasn't even sure I would gamble at all before I got there. But then, the beer started telling me "...awww what the heck!". I wanted to play a machine that ended with 77, because I just bought a raffle ticket for a new Harley whose number ended in 77. I also graduated in 1977 from Freedom High School.

I did find a machine that ended in 77, but it was occupied by a very large woman who was playing two machines at once. I hate that. I sat down on the end of the row in front of machine 1079. It was a $1 machine. I stuffed five 20's into the validator, and pushed the "play max bet" button -- a five dollar bet. It was a "Double Diamond" slot machine with multiple pay lines. The $100 quickly fell to $50, then went back up to $89, then down to $30, then up and down for while, until I was left with $10. I figured I had two more chances left.

I only needed one.

I still don't exactly know what I did, but the Double Diamond logo was in the middle, and there were a lot of "bar" symbols in all directions like this: / \ and horizontally (---). The credit counter showed 358. Each credit is a dollar. I stared at the red LED "358" for about 10 seconds with a wry grin on my face. I then thought about playing it down to either 300 or up to 400. But in a moment of rare sanity, I decisively hit the "cash out" button. In 30 minutes, I had taken the Sands Casino to its knees! Okay, maybe not. But I was done, and I knew it. In my former years, I would have squandered it on other machines. In this time of financial uncertainty, I was certain not to squander this unexpected windfall. But I knew who was buying breakfast.

In actuality, the Sands casino paid the $21 breakfast tab at Denny's. I'm 1 and 0 at the Sands, but I think I'll sit the rest of the season out. It was a fun 30 minutes, but I think I'll invest my extra money elsewhere.